Miami Beige – island of abandoned luxury (formerly Miami Beach)
“You’ll swear you were really there!”
A proposal by Jay Critchley
Residences start at $22.5M!
Move it on up - to aspirational high ground! Realize true luxury. Experience this sand-encrusted, entombed, island of sumptuousness, a post-petroleum haven: Miami Beige – island of abandoned luxury.
Enjoy innovative, border-secure, sustainable island living with all the comforts you deserve. Its Coastal Living resort architecture features an eco-friendly beach-sand patina, a nostalgic reminder of yesteryear’s Sunshine State.
Indulge in opulent high life on this last, rarified, car-free outpost in South Florida with ocean views from every lookout. Amenities include solar powered incinerator toilets, potable drinking water, yoga and rumba classes and 24/7 heliport services to other “carried interest” island retreats. And, indoor beaches, free of jellyfish and sharks!
Miami Beige facilities, developed by Mobil Warming for a small planet in partnership with Disney World, include:
- Carbon Kindness Golf Club
- Chapel of Our Lady of the River of Grass
- Meltdown Mall
- Road Rage Rehab Center
- Climate Change Casino & Spa
- Faith-based Corporate Inversion Headquarters
- Manatee Fitness Center
- Governor’s Mobil Yawning Museum
- Bank & Trust the Magic
- Museum of Modern Archeology
And solar powered sump pumps in every residence.
It’s a small world after all.