MUTANT CARONAVIRUS - CRITICAL ACUTE RESPIRATORY SYNDROME,
CARS - CAUSED BY FOSSIL FUEL EMISSIONS; "WEAPONS OF GAS DESTRUCTION" CITED.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 9, 2003

CARS - Weapons of Gas Destruction

By Jay Critchley

Is nothing scared anymore? As fast as I can say Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, a bio-terrorist-like mutant virus - Critical Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or CARS - is spreading worldwide, with the heaviest toll likely in the pollution-rich United States, according to a World Health Organization, and the latest media scare. Ironically, just as President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld celebrated the US - victory - over oil-rich Iraq, a new insidious threat has emerged - a mysterious CARonavirus believed to be caused by fossil-fuel powered automobiles, airplanes, SUVs, trucks, and industrialization uses. Now they are after my car. MY car! With the President's petroleum- and nuclear-heavy energy policies, and his rejection of the Kyoto Protocol on Climate Change, we Americans - victors of the war - are expected to bear the brunt of this latest chameleon virus, whose symptoms World Health Organization epidemiologists describe as a fever, cough, shortness of breath, and difficulty breathing. Is this the latest 'road map' we've been hearing about?

Now bring in the Office of Homeland Security, in cooperation with ExxonMobil and ChevronTexaco, it will distribute Yellow Health-Alert cards to customers who 'fill' er up' at gas stations - a public education campaign recognizing that cars may, in fact, be 'superspreaders.' Superspreaders?! They can't mean my 1993 powder blue Cutlass Ciera S Oldsmobile I inherited from my mother's estate? She would have none of this. One CDC official anonymously stated, "It's scarily reminiscent of the early days of AIDS.' In fact, drug 'cocktails' and other protocols are being hastily developed, with recommendations for 'safer sex', I mean 'safer sex breathing', I mean, 'safer breathing" there can be no abstinence from breathing. It would utilize gas masks and oxygen stations on public streets, and encourage the riding of public transportation. As health and government officials meet to 'shock and awe' this latest biological mutation called CARS, one of the United Nations weapons inspectors quipped, "Talk about weapons of mass destruction!"

Jay Critchley
P. O. Box 819
Provincetown, MA 02657
508 487-3684
reroot@comcast.net